Secret Recipe Keeper T-Shirts

"You're not getting my secret bread recipe. You're on a strictly knead-to-know basis."

'You mean we've all forgotten the formula for making our secret liqueur?'

"It's from the NSA. They've accidentally deleted that risotto recipe. Can you send it again?"

"It's good to see that... ...Tia Carmen teaching Gracie valuable family traditions passed down through the generations."

Come dine with me!

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

Vegetable Cook

'Men's cooking'

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

How to correctly estimate cooking time

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

An Advance Visit From The Three Wise Men

'Believe me, you don't want to know what's in it.'

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four

Cook in the cookery section.

Cheese Secret

Seminal moments in Chicken History

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

My old recipes have so many food stains they're practically scratch and sniff.

A man with a sign that reads "Secret of my chili $1".

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."