Secret Diary Fan Gifts

Thoreau's secret diary

The Fourth Little Pig

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

Saint George and the Drag Queen

He looks so natural lying there...

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

Moby Dick

This side is the gag reel.

"Play 'Misty' for me."

Malaprop Man! Adventures. Malaprop Man! Where have you been? At a stupor her comet confection! Did many of your fellow heroes show up? We had a great turnabout! Backman and the Incredible Bulk were there! So was Caption Americ, the Flush, Wander Woman and Plasterman! Very impressive. Who was the most popular with the fans? I think I was the main distraction! I have no doubt at all about that!

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

Ask A Silly Question.

After many years of wavering Dennis finally makes the decision to step out of his comfort zone.

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

Elusive Shadow.

Romulus and Remus

Phone. Oh, no! My Clark Kent clothes are gone! Secret Identity Theft.

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

Dog detectives

"Expedition log #57: Like the rest of the week, I expect today will be another uneventful day."

"Well, how was I supposed to know you were saving them for something special?"

"Sure. I know of a haystack on the edge of town where you'll be safe until the heat dies down."

"Another clear case of COVID19."

Bertolt Brecht

'He's been shot!'

Pirates find out treasure is a piggy bank.

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

"Pop, tell me again how Jazz came up the river from New Orleans."

CIA, NOW HIRING, 'My resume? - I memorized it and burned it.'

Frog Prince

The big break in the case of the missing French Fries: 'But just to make sure, can you have each of them squawk.'

NSA

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

Police are searching for a male between 16 and 25 years, with a silky sheer taupe complexion and a run over his left eye.