Secret Code Lover Gifts

'You have to send in $5 for a decoder ring to decipher the list of ingredients.'

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

"The note in the bottle said someone's stranded here, but where is he?"

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

'Is it one moo for yes two moos for no?'

Gigolo Diary

"My new antivirus software makes my computer self destruct if someone tries to hack into it. I mistakenly hit the wrong key when typing in my password."

'They transferred me from catering because I kept spilling the beans.'

Galoots in cahoots

'My date last night was a 10. Of course, I'm using the binary system.'

"I'm internet dating. I'm looking for someone I can morph and tweak."

Zero Tolerance

Computer Dating

"We tried to make it idiot-proof but someone's already made a better idiot."

'It's over'

"Are you two trying to play the imitation game?"

"Of course I could tell you more about the job...but then I would have to kill you!"

'I give it three, maybe four innings before the other team complains and we get a call from the commissioner.'

'He's really into comic books.'

The secret world of Stephen Harper...

"He's the social media member who chooses to remain anonymous."

This is Mort Park with breaking news. According to this reporter's secret source … Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell … secretly … watches Dr. Pimple Popper. Scandal!

"I don't shake hands during flu season. Just scan my QR code."

'... But, you mustn't tell anyone that Daddy's a superhero.'

"Imminent bankruptcy? I think you grossly underestimate the power of my secret decoder ring."

Newly discovered binary love letter from bill gates to his high school sweetheart

'Well, I could tell you what that medal was for, but then I'd have to kill you.'

"Vinnie, it's time we send our 'friend' a little message."

'The big book is for the 'Smiths'...'

You've been playing too many video games. I can't give you any "cheats" for the game of life!

'Nobody said anything about a password!'

"It's true. For years I've secretly had a second blended family."

Yesterday you said you were once in some mysterious "service" but wouldn