Secrecy Enthusiast T-Shirts

Notice reads Thank you for not asking my net worth.

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"Either we spend millions on new technology to erase each agent's memory following a sensitive assignment, or we just start hiring people over fifty."

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

Do you have a phone with recording capabilities? I want to be able to carry a wire when I meet with my boss.

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

"Ok, I found a secure line."

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

"I started my career as an industrial spy-here."

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

Was the Illuminati - now the Illuminasty

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

'It has all the comfort of a regular jet, but it's invisible to shareholders.'

The EP-21 spy plane.

Elusive Shadow.

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

'Daddy, you and Bobby will have lots to talk about...he's a professional sniper, too.'

Top Secret - Destroy before reading.

Company Ink.

"I said on the phone '2 percent.' I’m sure the NSA would back me up."

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

"Fill out all these highly intrusive forms...we can't wait!"

Sign on Secret Service door: Could be out to lunch.

A spy

"They rubbed my tummy, chief- I told them everything."

CIA - Incognito/Outcognito.

"I don't need to take notes. I'm wearing a wire."

'Never mind how accurate they are -- How DISCREET are they?'

'...This summit may be recorded for NSA training purposes!'

'Can you keep a secret?'