Second Youth Advocate Pillows

'If you're going through your second childhood like Mom says, how come I never see you at school?'

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Coronavirus Impact on Children

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"Look, I know the other team is taller than we are...but I'm pretty sure this isn't allowed."

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."

'He's at a very impressionable age.'

"There are no dumb questions, Billy, but there are plenty of dumb answers!"

Welcome to your new English Class.

"What I miss during school holidays is not going out on strike every Friday."

"Some day, son, all this will be yours. Sorry."

Mentoring Unit: 'Go on! You can do it! You can be a mentor!'

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

The Boy Who Wanted To Be A Lawyer - "Father Desmond, we need an exorcism."

"Sorry, but no. I can't lend you a student to help clean up your yard."

'Young players have a tendency to forget fundamentals over the winter.'

'I'm not sure if it's the programs or the commercials, but one is supposed to be a lot worse than the other.'

'I'm not enjoying my childhood, I'm dealing with it.'

Make good decisions!

'Youth Baseball Clinic: How To Develop A Deep-Rooted Hatred Of The Media.'

'See, this is proof that your criticism of our educational system is right on!'

"The good news is, the children in the district have strong writing skills. The bad news is, we have sustained a letter-writing campaign from the third grade."

Second Opinion

"We don't make cookies anymore - I'm selling Girl Scout apps."

Alcohol and Tobacco Danger

Adult Crime, Not Adult Logic

The Supreme Court, Juvenile Divisio: "As usual, the obvious precedent for this case is the children v. Mommy."

'I'm guessing it'll have to be by text.'

'Well if sixty is the new fifty and forty is the new thirty then yes,twenty must be the new ten...'

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

The Minor Issue

I think we got stuck with the rookie coaches. First thing -- Stop kicking your equipment around.

Girl to mother: 'Don't call me a teenager. From now on, I want to be referred to as a pre-adult.'

'May I be excused? The pressure is getting to me.'