Eternal Youth Advocate Pillows

'Well if sixty is the new fifty and forty is the new thirty then yes,twenty must be the new ten...'

'You need to slow down, dad - act your age. . .Right, Dad?'

"Everyone who cares about you is here, Frank, because we all feel it's time you quit wearing your baseball cap backwards."

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

"Look, I know the other team is taller than we are...but I'm pretty sure this isn't allowed."

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

Elderly People

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

"What I miss during school holidays is not going out on strike every Friday."

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

The Boy Who Wanted To Be A Lawyer - "Father Desmond, we need an exorcism."

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

"If it weren't for the Botox, right now I'd be so sharing your enthusiasm."

'Young players have a tendency to forget fundamentals over the winter.'

'What do you mean, 'act my age'?... If I did that I'd be dead!'

Make good decisions!

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

'Youth Baseball Clinic: How To Develop A Deep-Rooted Hatred Of The Media.'

"They grow up so slow."

"The good news is, the children in the district have strong writing skills. The bad news is, we have sustained a letter-writing campaign from the third grade."

"We don't make cookies anymore - I'm selling Girl Scout apps."

Strange Aftertaste birthday cards.

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

'Wow, Ed! You look so much younger! Cosmetic surgery?' 'No. Digital enhancement!'

Adult Crime, Not Adult Logic

"Fountain of youth? No, I'm searching for a cure for natural causes."

'You've been having your damn midlife crisis for eighteen years!'

Alcohol and Tobacco Danger

'I'm sure I'm getting worry lines worring if this anti wrinkle cream is working!'