Eternal Youth Seeker Pillows

'I have to be honest with you. I've been taking anit-aging nutrients for years. I'm 93 years old.'

'It's saving us a fortune on retirement costs.'

"If it weren't for the Botox, right now I'd be so sharing your enthusiasm."

'The effects of aging are inevitable. Either accept it, or inject it.'

'I've told him but he won't listen...Too much Botox!'

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

'Wow, Ed! You look so much younger! Cosmetic surgery?' 'No. Digital enhancement!'

'You mean we still have birthdays?'

'This nip and tuck business - can I have the tuck without the nip?'

Eventually, a point is reached where even the best cosmetic surgery begins to look more like taxidermy gone horribly wrong.

'I melted all your candles into one, because using just one candle gives the illusion of youth.'

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

'We used to be the same age but now somehow she's 10 years younger than I am. . .!'

'I'm sure I'm getting worry lines worring if this anti wrinkle cream is working!'

"The gentleman opposite would like to buy you more time."

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

"This may be hard to believe but two senior tickets please."

Exercising in old age

"I think we're gone as far as we can making you look 'younger'!"

FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH. WARNING: Can result in becoming a millennial snowflake.

Upside-down birthday 99-66.

'You've been having your damn midlife crisis for eighteen years!'

Father Time Robbing Martha of Her Youth

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

'Does this rejuvenation stuff really work?'

"In layman's terms, I just rewound your biological clock."

"What's wrong, little buddy?" "Some stupid kid called me 'old.'" "I'm young! I've been young all my life! I'm good at it. I know all about being young." "I've been young since way before he was even born." "He's just jealous that I'm more experienced at it than he is." "Might be time for us to have a little talk."

By the way, can you put my internal clock back on Eastern Standard Time?

"They grow up so slow."

Fountain of youth. Fountain of intelligence

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"