Seat Warmer Aficionado Pillows

I'm a seat warmer test dummy.

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"I AM at my usual position."

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"As the new head coach, my first move will be to blow up the entire roster."

'Radford, go in for Bloom. ... Uh-uh-uh! Finish your vegetables first!'

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

Feathered frenzy

"I get that you're cold, but does he also have to eat all our meals with us?"

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

'I hibernate in a small crevice near the hot springs that stays warm all winter.'

'Anyone else would be satisfied with one coat, but not you!'

'My mom got it on. She said you'd get it off.'

Spring Training

"I'm having my annual reunion with Polartec, Thinsulate, fleece, and my oldest friend, wool."

Concerned about soaring energy costs, Connie embarks on her biggest craft project ever and knits a wool sweater for their house.

'I can't find the gears.' - 'I'm not surprised. They're strewn out on the road behind us.'

'Any place that doesn't have snow.'

"It's mine—and I'd appreciate your not looking out of it."

The new heated seats were proving to be just a little too hot for the fans!

'If you have trouble with cold feet in bed, you will find this dog is equivalent to two blankets.'

"Can I join you until spring?"

'Let's drink to air conditioning.'

People for the ethical treatment of athletes.

'I've asked Santa for a tank of unleaded petrol.'

Death warmed up.

'That's impressive, Hanks. Now just 'presto' it right back out of his skill. Geez... And you wonder why you never play.'

Space Heaters

"Hey! This is my seat! I sit at the front every year!"

'Now we know why they call this the SNUG!'

"I AM at my usual position."