Bench Warmer Pillows

Spring Training

Feathered frenzy

'Radford, go in for Bloom. ... Uh-uh-uh! Finish your vegetables first!'

'I said, I've decided to make myself available for the NBA draft.'

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

'...Charles is a better kiss-up, so he will be starting in the position right next to me on the bench.'

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"I AM at my usual position."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"As the new head coach, my first move will be to blow up the entire roster."

'Are you SURE you switched off the electric blanket, luv?'

The Romantic - Heart shaped medals

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

Love.

'Only the high-traffic path needs cleaning - from the couch to the bar.'

Lesbian Couple

Be a friend.

"I play 'backside'. My 'backside' is always sitting on the bench."

I'm a seat warmer test dummy.

Nobody has been on the this team longer, without actually playing in a game than you guys. We're setting a benchmark!

'My name is Judge Clyde Sandorf; better known as 'ol' tough as nails'.'

'See that, Greg? His back is straight. Both feet flat on the floor. Eyes fixed on the game. It's natural talent, Greg. You just can't teach that.'

People for the ethical treatment of athletes.

'That's impressive, Hanks. Now just 'presto' it right back out of his skill. Geez... And you wonder why you never play.'

A woman's dog brings her a valentine.

"I AM at my usual position."

'Dear diary: day sixty, still haven't played. Starting to regret choosing baseball. Over the NBA...'

'Well, this is your lucky day, Sheedy.Go in for Moore... He just blew out his knee.'

"I play 'backside'. My backside is always on the bench."

"In memory of Lofty Thomas."

Don

'Yo, Dewey! Got another one over here when you're done.'

'Well, I don't know much about sport, but I know what I like.'