Seasonal Storytellers Gifts

"Grandpa says there's a frozen mosquito trapped inside every snowflake."

Early season snow and the following thaw got all the snowmen grumbling...

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

“Hey Everyone! It’s the first day of Fall! Okay, you go first!”

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

Filming Christmas

Rude Snowpeople

"By God, Man! Yes!! This is the stuff we're looking for!"

"Once upon a time there was a kind bank manager who found all the money lost in the global financial meltdown, brought world peace, stopped global warming, cured the common cold and discovered Julian Assange is Santa."

"I can't tell you how it ended. That would ruin the sequel."

The Nanuit Have 2,027 Words For Snow, But, After Awhile, They Just Talk About Something Else...

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

"So, are you predicting an early spring?"

"I love this time of year."

A feminist Christmas.

The Month of June

'My Dad won't let me tell what I did on my summer vacation...he doesn't want anyone to know where he set up his offshore bank accounts.'

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

"I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

Knight before Christmas

There's no place like Ho-Ho-Home

A Salmon Lie

"Wh@_I_Did_During_My_Whole_Summer_Vacation."

Santa Claus writes a 'Yule Blog'.

'My brother got all the glory. For me it was Randolph with your nose so pink, you really make my sleigh team stink.'

'Son, you're old enough now to know, there's no such thing as Christmas.'

"You've got to learn to let go."

'Tortoise stampede! But finish your picnic, folks - plenty of time.'

"Remember last October when you had on your autumn colors and we were hugging like this? And that tiny chipmunk jumped on my face? That was nuts!"

"Don't you love the smell of burning leather boots this time of year?"