Seaside Holidays Gifts

"It's your fault. You insisted on a room with a sea view."

A fat guy at a beach shouting to his ex girlfriend:'I know I don't have his good looks Martha,but I'm six pounds lighter and I surf now!'

'I caught five jellyfish today...Five different flavours.'

No early morning tea past this landing

"I'm getting it registered as an historical landmark."

Airlines

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

Scene of seagull troops about to charge a picnic.

'How very Cumbria.'

Try me/try me/try me...

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

"Lets find another beach, this one has too much competition."

Shellfie

Ladies by the seaside

''What's in the bag, lady?''

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

'See you in two weeks!'

'the selling of seashells by the seashore was sluggish.'

Waiting for a turn to swim.

"Never mind the sea, does it get wi-fi?"

Stonehenge Sandcastle

'One more hangover like this and I'm going to have to claim for sickness during holiday absence.'

Canada's winter survival kit.

"Hey guys - wrote a new song! It's called 'I suggested Paris.' And a' one, two three..."

"Be careful of that sun, Stewart. You're starting to look like the front page of the 'Times Book Review.'"

'Say, are you in the mood for a Spielberg?'

"We were thinking about the Himalayas this summer. On the other hand, there's something very special about Montauk."

"I wrote a poem, even though I'm on vacation."

Feeling for shells

"How's it look back there?"

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'Beach snowman.'

'No, you can't have a stick of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerrychwrudobwllanstisiliogogogoch rock. I'll get you on in Rhyl.'