Seafood Speculator Gifts

'You simply put up a minimum of $2,500. If the price of fish goes up, your investment goes up. If the price of the fish goes down, your investment goes down.'

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

'I cleaned over thirty fish today.' - 'That takes guts.'

"My family has been fishing these waters for nearly 40 years. . ."

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"... Oh, don't worry, I won't 'overcook it'... I hope you like, sushi."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

"How's the salmon?"

Prawn Cocktail Please

"No, my consomme was perfect, but my husbands calamari is a little underdone."

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

"You've got some food or something in your moustache."

'We like bright, new employees who aren't afraid to take some risks. By the way... how are those clam fritters?'

"The waiter said he wouldn't recommend the octopus, so what do you order? The octopus."

Another reason farm raised fish aren't as healthy as wild ones.

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

A man and baby wearing bibs

'How was the squid?'

"You arrived as bottom-feeders, but you shall leave as bottom-gourmands."

"I'll have a man overboard!"

"Anchovies?... I would have thought you'd seen enough of them. After all, you've been catching them all day."

Open-Tank Night at Sal's King Krab Kastle

'No, we don't have any tuna FISH, but we do have salmon FISH, trout FISH, and catfish FISH.'

"Our cook caught today's special. What makes it so special is that we have no idea what it is. We're coping it's edible."

"I'm not trying to freak you out, but your eel roll is moving."

'You may well have eaten fresher fish before but not in this restaurant. . .'

"How 'local' is the fish?"

Who had the cod, and who had the flying fish?

"Don't blame me! Your profile said nothing about a seafood allergy."

"Let's take this one step at a time. First, somebody is going to have to catch the fish."