Sea Song Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I am wearying of the crew's constant repetition of the same old sea shanties."

Bite out of fishing pier.

It beached on a pile of plastic bottles, so they were able to just roll it back out.

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

How can I enjoy that clean, fresh, salt air when I'm up to my neck in garbage?

"Lets find another beach, this one has too much competition."

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

Waiting for a turn to swim.

Pirate

Fishing boat.

"You may enjoy swimming with the dolphins, Howard, but do they enjoy swimming with you?"

Dog brings diver flippers.

'Did you say psst?.'

'Alex - I didn't know you freckled.'

'But you're an admiral. How can you feel seasick on a waterbed?'

'Clem,the doctor told you to get away and relax.'

'Research shows that while the number of surfers is somewhat constant over the year, there is a sudden increase in casual bathers over Summer...'

Captain Ahab (Ret.)

The Imperfect Storm

Older woman explains how to see off men with one of her looks

'One hundred and forty? You don't look a day over one hundred and thirty nine!'

"So tell me, exactly when do you think the Greenland ice cap will start to melt?"

'This is definitely not your typical beaching.'

A crab finds an alternative to walking sideways.

Eel-mail

My broker went to Antigua ... I had to settle for Coney Island.

'I don't know about you, but I get a lot more attention from whale watchers than from my husband...'

Victorian Royal Navy

"It's a survival instinct...they know there's an underwater pipe pumping out untreated effluent somewhere around here."

Contestants defeated in the ring toss competition head back to the hotel to recharge for a late night nude hot tub partying and 'bootie shakin' erotic cage fetish dancing.

"Mum, Mum, the choir master taught us to yodel today! I loved it, I want to practice every day..."

A grave with an anchor and periscope

'You're going to need a bigger net.'