Scuba-diving Money Manager Pillows

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

Money exchange

"We balanced our budget this month!"

'If you must know... I got the ten-million-dollar bonus this year because... instead of losing 15-million-dollars, we could of possibly lost much, much more!'

"Constant vigilance, regular trimming."

'In the future, if we're a little late with your allowance, don't just automatically turn it over to a collection agency.'

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

"We rolled your account over, sir, and that just made it worse."

'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

'I know that other kids manage on ?5 pocket money - but their parents don't charge them to watch any television programme their parents don't happen to approve off!'

"So, the bills still aren't paid? You've never been good at money management."

Overdraft limit.

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

What is possible and what is probable.

Here today, Bailed Out Tomorrow.

'Well, okay. So we almost bankrupted the country. But we've managed to make a slight profit thanks to the government bail out package, so who can possibly deny us a fat bonus this year?'

Piggy Bank ATM

The Mattress Savings Bank

'Would it kill 'ya to index my birthday check to inflation?'

'While I'm here for my audit, could I interest you in some tax free municipal bonds?'

Yes we can increase your overdraft, but I'd like to see a little more grovelling, please.

'I'm push come to shove. . .'

"Our credit rating has improved. There's a pre-approved credit card in the report."

'How about giving me one of those useless fivers you're always moaning about,Dad?'

It's not our fault. We attribute your poor portfolio performance to fund malfunction.

It's 10pm do you know where your 401-k is?'

Man goes from instant cash machine to instant spending.

Piggy bank...cash cow.