Money Manager Mischief Pillows

'I want to make a withdrawl from our joint account. From my wife's half.'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

Money exchange

"We balanced our budget this month!"

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

Ponzi-Mat Vending Machine

"We rolled your account over, sir, and that just made it worse."

'If you must know... I got the ten-million-dollar bonus this year because... instead of losing 15-million-dollars, we could of possibly lost much, much more!'

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

"Constant vigilance, regular trimming."

'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

Overdraft limit.

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

'It may seem we're sinking deeper into debt, but really we're just experiencing a quarter of negative growth.'

Here today, Bailed Out Tomorrow.

What is possible and what is probable.

'Well, okay. So we almost bankrupted the country. But we've managed to make a slight profit thanks to the government bail out package, so who can possibly deny us a fat bonus this year?'

Piggy Bank ATM

'Would it kill 'ya to index my birthday check to inflation?'

'While I'm here for my audit, could I interest you in some tax free municipal bonds?'

'It's 10pm, does anyone know how much the U.S. dollar is worth?'

Yes we can increase your overdraft, but I'd like to see a little more grovelling, please.

Man goes from instant cash machine to instant spending.

Piggy bank...cash cow.

It's not our fault. We attribute your poor portfolio performance to fund malfunction.

"It's all very well for people to go on about restraining hedge fund managers...but they have not idea of what we do!"

"So dude, how much ahve you saved up from your job?"

'I'm push come to shove. . .'

"Think of it this way Jr., without debt you can't build credit."

"Our credit rating has improved. There's a pre-approved credit card in the report."