Scruffy Style Enthusiast T-Shirts

You're doing too much, Mort. I don't know what you mean. Optimum scruffiness is a delicate balance. One cannot have both wild hair and a wild mustache. It must be one or the other. What about Einstein? He was behaired all over the place. The only exceptions are for hobos, bikers and the big-brained. I rode my Huffy here, does that count?

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

Hats and Food

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

I like this one. Do you have it in blue?

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

"He'll never grow out of it. It's made of rubber."

"And remember, woman... I'm the one who wears the sassy pastel yellow toreador pants in the family!"

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

The Comfiest Hombre in the West

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

'How do you like my new 'Blend with the Background' skin?'

"Don't say a word! Your eyes, your hair, your T-shirt, your luggage—they say it all."

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

The Return Of The Minipants

'For my latest line, I bought clothes at Target and then changed the label,'

'It's a chinstache. They were popular in the 1800's, but now they're coming back.'

Trendies, INC

Bald Man Overcomb

"You get your hair from your father's side..."

Giant Sale!

'He wears a necktie like he means it.'

Georgian head-dress

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

Parrot looking in mirror has feather headdress options.

"I want it to look good, but not ill-gotten-gains good."

'It's a new concept, the inside out house.'

SELECTIONS FROM THE "VICTOR'S SECRET" CATALOGUE

'You've taken that handlebar mustache too far.'

"We've known each other for years Bob, and this grooming style suited you when you were young, but it's time to let it go!"

It bag and no knickers!