Scrubs Style Gifts

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

"Ok, first off... ever have one of those days when you just can't seem to do anything right?"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

'What's holding him up?'

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

Surgeon carving a chicken/turkey.

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

"Pay attention, 'switch it off switch it on again' does not apply to the life support machines."

Celebration in operating theatre.

Doctor Flattened By The ER Rush

'Don't worry, I haven't sued any patients. I got the J.D. as a deterrent to lawsuits!'

A topiary doghouse

"I'm removing the liver.. No, the kidneys... Presure, pressure, what's that blobby thing?"

"To prove I'm human, I check the box. It still won't let me in."

"I just had these linen scrubs dry-cleaned!"

"This cabernet sauvignon will have you feeling more like yourself in no time."

Surgery.

'When the aliens abducted and probed me, they said I was fine. But I'd like a second opinion.'

'So then the linebacker yells back at this guy: 'Oh yeah? Well, next play, I'm gonna cram the ball...' Wait! I got it.'

"Sorry, I had the hiccups."

"Please excuse him...interns always worry patients don't think they're real doctors!"

Surgery.

Topiary chair.

"Okay go ahead, but I say the appendix is on the right."

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'I'm afraid we have to turn the life-support machine off. I want to use the plug to recharge my iPad.'

You're doing too much, Mort. I don't know what you mean. Optimum scruffiness is a delicate balance. One cannot have both wild hair and a wild mustache. It must be one or the other. What about Einstein? He was behaired all over the place. The only exceptions are for hobos, bikers and the big-brained. I rode my Huffy here, does that count?

'Let's be careful this morning, the patient's wife informed me that he broke a chain-letter recently.'

Covid Golf

"Fresh ground pepper?"

'You're a very lucky man Mr. Gibson. That looks like a 1913 Liberty Head nickel.'

'I never would have joined this group had I known about the uniforms.'

Well, I didn