Scrub Aficionado Pillows

"Pay attention, 'switch it off switch it on again' does not apply to the life support machines."

"Absolutely not!"

'What's holding him up?'

Loofah Lady

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

Drunk Barber

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

'This is Citroen Picasso's cubist period.'

"Hello job security."

In the shaving cut operating room of a hospital.

The only creation God was truly proud of was the Sabbath

'Whoa,Man!...(Phew!)...Boy,that was a close shave!'

'We're very lucky, really, with our poltergeist.'

"When I think about all the sticks I chased after, and what it did to my joints. . ."

Boy recommending a shaving soap to an older man

Man looking at his shower-bath on a cold morning

Decluttering. . .

Man using straight razor sees electric razor in mirror.

Kid's Driving You Crazy?

"I tried that new detangling shampoo."

"I beg your pardon, but a mustache is required in the dining room. Would you like us to provide you with one?"

'Honey, these split ends look terrible! What kind of shampoo have you been using?'

'Sorry I'm late - I stopped off for a beer and a back rub.'

"BEARD FOR HIRE! Good Rates!"

New more powerful, furniture polish.

'I just got so fed up with bumping into things all the time that I cut my fringe...'

'You don't know how lucky you are having tentacles instead of arms. I spend a fortune in manicure.'

'Your bath's ready, dear. You may want to run some cold water before you get in'.

"I just had these linen scrubs dry-cleaned!"

'Don't be ridiculous, Schaumberg! -- They didn't have Burma-Shave back then!'

Axes 'R' Us Store

“It’s 2025 Roger, I didn’t think I’d still be seeing the lockdown beard..”

"Mr. Potatohead had second thoughts about having a facial peel."

"Are you listening to me?"