Scripture Studies Pillows

Paul before Felix.

How the Apocrypha Came to Be

"Meet the scribe"

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

'You just don't know when to stop, do you?'

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

Cleric with bible briefcase.

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

'Any chance these are available in paperback?'

"We're in deep trouble... there are some people quoting back to us what we taught them."

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

"The amendments are coming next week!"

Moses comes down the mountain with the first silicon chip.

"You know, Father, they say the Old Testament is the new New Testament."

Jesus wept

"For the last time Pharaoh, it's a plague, not global warming."

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

'Oh, another thing, there'll be no more of this standing upright business, ok?'

'Oh, I understand -- with the 'coveting' part, we can get everybody!'

'But everybody does that stuff!'

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'