Studying Scriptures Pillows

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

"Meet the scribe"

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

Moses on the web

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

TSA Noah

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

Cleric with bible briefcase.

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Bible Bloopers

Christian and Born again Christian...

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."