Studying Scriptures Pillows

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Meet the scribe"

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

Moses on the web

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

TSA Noah

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

Cleric with bible briefcase.

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Bible Bloopers

Caption Contest TK

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."