Scripture Detective Pillows

"I'm from the Bible - a new publication - and we'd like your first hand account of this event."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

"Meet the scribe"

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

'It's some more story ideas from Francis Bacon.'

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

Cleric with bible briefcase.

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

'Oddly enough you're the third person to buy that today!'

'Turns out it was J K Rowling, in the drawing room, with a laptop.'

The evidence destroyed

Virginia could tolerate the Woolf whistles no longer

"Wow! That's some PowerPoint presentation."

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

Mysteries.

Bibliomaniac

"I have always depended on the content of strangers."

RIP William Shakespeare: To be or not to be...

"It's a 12 inch chess board - the game's a foot."

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'