Script-typer T-Shirts

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

'They all want to play the star.'

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

Hollywood producer.

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

"So, do you see yourself as a car valet who writes screenplays or a screen writer who parks cars?"

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

"Now all we need is a good script."

"I have to ask you a few questions. I've written a screenplay. Would you read it?"

'Why is it when you hit two keys by mistake, the one you don't want appears on the screen?'

"He's left a suicide screenplay."

"What are they complaining about?... The local content is the audience...

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

Duplass Brothers

Waiting Room For Godot.

"I’ve gotta tell you, there’s a lot of demand for a sequel."

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

Scrip Doctor

'A series based on made-up stories with actors following scripts? Preposterous.'

"Whatta you mean 'minor script changes?' It's supposed to be a western."

"Just got the script from the focus group. Fabulous!"

"This isn't his audition...he's telling us about being an actor."

Great script, great cinematography, great everything. But the whole 3D thing is lost on me.

"Sure, it's a little formulaic but I love it!"