Script Appreciator Gifts

Exit laughing

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

Fly Fishing

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

Conservation Area

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

"Did you just do a rooster?"

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

Moulin Rouge Security

A pretention of playwrights

"All stories have been told, all songs have been sung. But that won't stop us from making movie reboots."

"You've changed."

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

"A haand gel...!?"

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

All-Verbal Westerns

Golfer mistakes a hen's egg for his golf ball.

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!