Screw Collector Gifts

Witness Protection Program

Handbag store - "Perfect."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

Try me/try me/try me...

'It must be the dead sea.'

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

"So, Bob... anything you'd like to tell me about your little trip to the hunting store on Boxing Day?"

Used wheels

Feeling for shells

'Cool! Where'd you learn the new step?'

'Of course you can hear the ocean,we're standing next to it.'

Long Corkscrew

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

"I can hear the sea boiling."

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'Gentlemen, invent your engines.'

Utility Chic.

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

The dead sea scrolls

"Don't put that on. You're wearing this shirt today."

"You get one every time you order something online."

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

Bottle Opener Strikes A Red Wine Well

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

'We thought you'd like music during your building inspection.'

The Black Hole the National Observatory just discovered, where temporarily misplaced tools and parts go.