Screw Collector Gifts

Witness Protection Program

Handbag store - "Perfect."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

'It must be the dead sea.'

Try me/try me/try me...

If you hold the conch up to your ear, you can hear the ocean swearing at you.

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Cool! Where'd you learn the new step?'

"So, Bob... anything you'd like to tell me about your little trip to the hunting store on Boxing Day?"

Used wheels

Feeling for shells

'Of course you can hear the ocean,we're standing next to it.'

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

Long Corkscrew

"I can hear the sea boiling."

'Gentlemen, invent your engines.'

Utility Chic.

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

'I swapped shirts with Peter Crouch.'

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

The dead sea scrolls

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

"Don't put that on. You're wearing this shirt today."

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

"You get one every time you order something online."

Bottle Opener Strikes A Red Wine Well

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

'We thought you'd like music during your building inspection.'