Scroll Collector Gifts

The dead sea scrolls

Edmund Spenser

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

Second hand furniture.

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"Manhatten Brooklyn Hoboken Long Island"

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

clock shopkeeper says timing is everything

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

"So, Bob... anything you'd like to tell me about your little trip to the hunting store on Boxing Day?"

Used wheels

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'Gentlemen, invent your engines.'

Olga's Biological Clocks.

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

Time Table

Orthopaedist

"You're late."

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"What's that smell?" "A paper cut."

95 Theses That Will Blow Your Mind!

Outstanding Time Management