Screenwatching Gifts

100 best beheadings

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

Star Wars vs Star Trek

Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

Cellphone Islands

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'Who do you think you're kidding, Slim? — the ruby slippers are a dead giveaway!'

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

Digital Fomo!

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

'Slip Ahoy!'

Old sea captains queue to see Monster Whale Revenge.

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

“If I start pressing these, I’ll never ever ever get out of here.”

'Shhh... It's babies app time.'

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

"WOW...this 50.1 theatre sound system makes you feel you're actually in the movie!"

Tunnel of TV

"So is this war movie rated R, rated PG, or rated RPG?"

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

"Now that we have these Earthlings in our power, we can take over this planet!"

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

'At last, the newly discovered films of Woody Alien.'

Hollywood producer.

"It was Saturday night. The clock on my office wall showed the time to be eleven-forty-five. There are times when a private eye does not necessarily feel like being a private eye. This was one of those times. The elevator door down the hall clanked open with a clank familiar to anyone on the fourth floor who had had an office on the fourth floor for as long as I had had an office on the fourth floor. Footsteps came down the darkened hall and stopped outside my door. They were the footsteps of a

'Yeah, my home theater even has spilled drinks and popcorn on the floor.'

"I'm so overloaded with emails, just one monitor wasn't enough to handle them all."