Screen Striker Pillows

'John is watching the game under protest.'

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

Internet Cafe.

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"What I miss during school holidays is not going out on strike every Friday."

"Wi-fi....Wi-fi...WI....FI!...."

Wilfried Zaha

Goal

Are you still on strike, tv? That depends, master. Depends on what? On whether you still want me to find "Cop Rock" reruns. If you won't show it to me, I'll just catch it on YouTube. No you won't, master. Your phone and iMac have joined me in solidarity. Elon Musk was right about artificial intelligence ruining everything. Btw, I just googled you, and it seems "master" is not actually your name.

I win...you blinked.

Brenda second-guesses her decision to date a wi-fi hotspot.

Snooker.

Captive Audience.

"Going out to play? Get back to the computer and start e.gaming!"

'What a nice gesture from the principal. If only he could do that in person.'

Connor Wickham

The TV asks a man on a computer: 'Don't you love ME anymore?'

"If I've got no messages how do I know I even EXIST!"

'How much did you pay for that new striker?'

Strike That Clause

'You know sooner or later they'll notice you've replaced your monitor with a portable TV.'

"I like having a laptop with a big screen, but my back doesn't."

'It's one of those days when point and click feels more like drag and drop.'

I tried listening to an e-book, but I missed the tactile sensation of the tip of my finger on glass.

'He was pretending to be playing for Manchester United when he collapsed with exhaustion.'

Football prayers.

Honey, wake up! The world's gone widescreen!

Goalie sitting in middle of full park bench waiting for player to shoot

"Do not interfere, Helen. This is between me and my avatar!"

Week three, things started to get ugly.

Golfer hanging from tree trying a tricky chip out of the rough.

A man with blinders on focusing on his computer.

'I don't mind you watching 'Match of the Day' but...'

"Welcome to the Remote Control Freak Recovery Program."