Screen Story Connoisseur T-Shirts

'It just doesn't seem right -- a computer-generated reality show.'

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

Zora Neale Hurston

Binary Man

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

Time Machine Collision.

"Aha Mr. Bond - you are in my power!....but instead of just killing you, I'll blether on and on about my plans for world domination so you have time to think of an ingenious way to escape my clutches..."

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

"I have to ask you a few questions. I've written a screenplay. Would you read it?"

'Oh man, every time.'

"You know that kid that submitted a screenplay to us on the back of a restaurant menu? I'm passing on it. I like the screenplay, but I hate that restaurant."

'Have you figured out our New Year's resolution?'

"I would never do a nude scene, unless the part really called for it."

"Chills, Randy. I feel chills. And I can't move." "And I can't remember the last time my palms were this sweaty." "This must've been what people felt like when they heard the Allies were finally invading Normandy on D-Day." "No way any movie can live up to this hype." "Wolverine day is almost upon us." "We are about to embark upon the great crusade..."

'What will it be tonight? Gore and dismemberment, idiotic and foul-mouthed comedy aimed at fifteen-year-old boys, a macho revenge fantasy, or our special combo platter?'

'My head's in the shop, this is just a loaner.'

"Tonight... Hemingway."

"Stan is one of our great, widely unread literary treasures."

"Can we go see 'Home Alone 2'? My friend Jeffrey says it's an important picture."

"Now this is what I call a true work of genius. . . And I haven't even read it yet."

Paul Verlaine

"Same story - boy becomes girl."

Milla Jovovich

"It's 3D 4K HD - ideal for my old silent movie collection."

William S. Burroughs

HP Sauce/HP Lovecraft

"Hi honey, could you run by the bookstore on the way home? We're almost out of poetry."

"Which side of the plates do the cellphones go?"

George Carlin

'I'm only here to pep up my autobiography.'

TV listings for the 'small screen'.

"Of course no one is drinking the wine - it's the Murder Mystery Writers Association."