Screen Screamer Pillows

'It is now safe to kick and swear at your computer'

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'It was a real scroller. I couldn't put down my screen.'

I wish you kids would get off your electronics and learn a practical skill. Work with your hands! What does he think we're doing?!! Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.

Biology Revision - Arse / elbow.

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

"Wi-fi....Wi-fi...WI....FI!...."

"I'm just sitting here collecting vast amounts of metadata. And what are you up to?...Oh, I already know."

'Hmmm, everyone seems to have prepared for the exam except for Thomas who's making a long face now.'

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

"No you are not ok! Tell me what's wrong! You've been sitting for two minutes without checking your phone!"

Children and technolohgy

50% looking at phone, 50% looking for phone

Don't Let Your Computer Eat You Up!

"I thought SAT was 'Smart Alec Teacher'!"

Are you going to read a book the whole time? That's so rude!

'Wow, thanks for putting it into context. My 42-inch plasma really is obsolete.'

Are you still on strike, tv? That depends, master. Depends on what? On whether you still want me to find "Cop Rock" reruns. If you won't show it to me, I'll just catch it on YouTube. No you won't, master. Your phone and iMac have joined me in solidarity. Elon Musk was right about artificial intelligence ruining everything. Btw, I just googled you, and it seems "master" is not actually your name.

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

"If I admit I'm bored with looking at my phone every minute of the day, will I be considered a traitor by my generation?"

"I'd look up from my phone for you!"

Livin' the dream

'What a nice gesture from the principal. If only he could do that in person.'

Computer camp's not exactly what I expected.

"Can Ethan come out to swipe and scroll?"

'Will this job requirer me to look up from my phone?'

The TV asks a man on a computer: 'Don't you love ME anymore?'

No calls, I'm resting on my laurels.

"If I've got no messages how do I know I even EXIST!"