Screen Humor Lover Gifts

'Darling, the blogsitter's here.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"Look! No hands!"

Crap from the future.

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Gardening Calendar: January - The Snow will be deep now...get out into the garden...

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

"You are still here."

"Oooh, I know what I want to be when I grow up: Retired!"

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

The Hammer

Public footpath on a desert island.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

Honest Voting Stickers

The Monroe Doctrine

Anti-inflammation recipes

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

'I AM a magician! When I wake up granddad from his nap, I turn Gramps into Grumps!'

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

'Where Are They Now?'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

Before disposing of useless information please make file copies.

'You're a good man, Henderson, but you don't have your staff's respect.'

Evil Henchman Gets a Promotion.

Think tanks.

"I'll have dessert first."

Only in America

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'