Screen Binger Gifts

"Oh, he's been counting sheep-shearing shows."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

'There's nothing on.'

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

Star Wars Audience

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'Now that's Real TV!'

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

"Can you do battle with him later?... He's watching, 'Game of Thrones'."

“We thought it was so smart getting the phone out of the bottle, but then it went right for the clickbait.”

'Did I doze off for a couple of years? Since when did cupcakes become a big deal?'

"This lockdown is GREAT! - We can spend all day on our computers, eating takeaway junk food and watching crap TV while gambling on our iphones!"

Do you go for Hannity or O'Reilly? Tough call. O'Reilly's presence is so big, fearless. Whereas Hannity has a wicked fast tongue and such inner strength. As symbolized externally by his jawline. O'Reilly is so tall. Something strange is happening. Coulter's a bit masculine for my tastes. Ditto. HOJ.

'He ordered those 'natural male enhancements',and now he watches football all the time!'

Wordplay: Me.

"It's 100% commercials."

TV Watch(ing) Dog for sale.

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

Unable to get going each day without her dose of Katie Couric, Lois shifted her schedule to be in sync with the star's new evening news job.

'Wow! These advancements in TV make the news even more frightening.'

"This is why the doc said to not binge-watch the Eating Channel!"

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

'I don't believe in blind dates... the last time I got fixed up I got neutered.'

"I never said I liked this show...I'm only enjoying it because you hate it."

'Not another elimination show!'

"I have a great idea. Come up to my place and we'll watch all 13 episodes of House of Cards!"

"I don't believe the "Smart TV" is the one always turning to women's beach volleyball."

Couch potato.

'Thanks for tuning in - we'll try to pander to you.'

'This unexpectedly concludes tonight's program -- the sponsor bailed out.'

English People With Servants Having Problems - On Demand

A man watching t.v. with his skull hinged open to reveal the same man watching the same t.v. . . .

"I'm just saying, if you had to turn off the TV, would you still remember how?"