Screen Binger Pillows

"Oh, he's been counting sheep-shearing shows."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

'There's nothing on.'

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

Star Wars Audience

'And now on the comedy channel Jose Mourinho's latest outburst.'

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'Now that's Real TV!'

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

'Did I doze off for a couple of years? Since when did cupcakes become a big deal?'

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

“We thought it was so smart getting the phone out of the bottle, but then it went right for the clickbait.”

'He ordered those 'natural male enhancements',and now he watches football all the time!'

TV Watch(ing) Dog for sale.

'I don't believe in blind dates... the last time I got fixed up I got neutered.'

'Wow! These advancements in TV make the news even more frightening.'

"It's 100% commercials."

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

Wordplay: Me.

"This is why the doc said to not binge-watch the Eating Channel!"

"I never said I liked this show...I'm only enjoying it because you hate it."

A man watching t.v. with his skull hinged open to reveal the same man watching the same t.v. . . .

"You seem very remote."

'Thanks for tuning in - we'll try to pander to you.'

"Dinner will be ready soon, I hear the pizza truck rounding the corner."

"I don't believe the "Smart TV" is the one always turning to women's beach volleyball."

English People With Servants Having Problems - On Demand

'This unexpectedly concludes tonight's program -- the sponsor bailed out.'

'Not another elimination show!'

"I'm just saying, if you had to turn off the TV, would you still remember how?"