Scream Therapy Advocates Pillows

'Blood-curdling screams, Hayes, will do nothing to help us catch a fish.'

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

Turn your head and laugh.

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

It's nothing to worry about - many kids his age have trouble with the letter S.

"It wasn't supposed to be funny."

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

Bernice Mountain Dog

'That's part of out in-house, stress management program...'

'It's the worst possible diagnosis a bear can receive -- sleep apnea.'

'You are crazy, but in a NICE way.'

Hey, hey, hey! Inside screams!

'You say it only hurts when you laugh? Don't worry, I've brought in a specialist.'

"Ten years of therapy, and finally I’ve managed to replace my rage addiction with sarcasm."

"You really are one hell of a therapy dog."

"After the aversion therapy, please feel free to take home any pie remnants."

Laughing till you cry

'Please do not ask for change.'

'So your mother was sucked into the jet's engines - how did that make you feel?'

'If his chart dips down to 15 here, he'll start emitting a hellish, non-stop squeal.'

Rubber Chicken First Aid Training

"It appears the pain is caused by your acupuncture treatments."

"I thee a thpeech therapitht every Thaturday for thpecial help. He ith amathing!"

40 minutes in this position

'The doctor doesn't want you getting too excited, so I'll be giving you your bed bath.'

'Take two of these tablets,three times a day.Let me know if they work...I've got the same symptoms!'

"Well, thanks for coming over with the soup and the subtle condemnations of my use of Western medicine."

'The Psychiatric ward? Certainly sir, it's round the bend...'

Man's aching body makes all the noise in the library.

'Haven't you ever wondered why I'll live 50 years longer than you?'

"You said you wanted to speak to your loyal subjects!"

"We'd like you to take early retirement, retroactive to the day you started working here."