Shock Therapy Advocate Pillows

Malpractice insurance bill cures hiccups.

Licensed Therapist

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

"Postwar is hell."

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

Couples' therapy

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"I sometimes think you're the only one who listens to me."

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

'We have three minutes left.'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

Shrinks in heaven

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"My brother thinks he's a chicken... He's crazy."

A cartoonist at the doctor, in yoga, at home and in therapy

"You need to stand up for yourself, or at least sit up straight."

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

'On the plus side, I give my thanks this Thanksgiving that I'm not a turkey. On the minus side...'

"You need to stop bottling it up."

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

"First, we'll look for repressed memories of malpractice suits."

"Has it ever occurred to you just to say, 'Hey, I quit. I don't want to be a part of the food chain anymore'?"

'It's just like any other doll except this one needs hours of therapy to work normally.'

"Dr. Stolner says it might be nice if I let you see my dark side."