Scratching Post Defender Pillows

"My cat doesn't like being given pills either...."

"If you hold a shell to your ear you can hear the ocean..."

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

'Oh,oh, Regina has her lawyer with her.'

'I think your son is being bullied. He's suffering 80% Chinese wrist burns.'

'How long did you try before calling?'

We all have our jobs to do here --- You guard against burglars and I'm the food critic.

'Oh, I'm sorry Frank, it's just when you come home in that outfit, sometimes I lose control... so anyways, when's dinner?'

"Bloody cold-callers - I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind. . .!!"

Art Theft

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

"Don't push her off! Can't you see she's exhausted?"

'He got a splinter from his scratching post.'

Man with fly swat - Let the games begin.

"My husband has a thing about double glazing salesmen."

GOOOOAAAAAL!

How do you keep cats out of your garden? I catch the little sneaks

'I can't believe you threw my scratching invention away! I was going to sell it to Satchel for a lot of money.'

"Thanks. I feel much better now."

"Oh, yeah! A little to the right. . . down a bit. . . Ahhh!"

Pest Control

"Now remember if we do meet a shark, a sharp rap on his nose....

"Has it ever occurred to anyone that if we stopped wearing these damned skirts we wouldn't have to march off to defend our manhood every five minutes?"

'This has been taking up all of my time.'

"I think you've done a fine job of protecting the underlying canvas from the elements with paint."

'Maybe you should ease up on the burglar.'

My house is infected with bugs! Pest Control, Inc. Who shall I say is crawling?

"The mosquitoes are coming!"

"I don't let them bite. They just do."

"By the way, how's that lawsuit against the home insurance company going?"

"Think about it Dad: if we were to build a moat around our house, it would keep cats at bay..."

The arrival of... the 17-year cockroaches

I've had four espresso shots and a red bull. Look out post office, here comes Sadie! Post office? You're fueling up so you have the strength to endure the long lines? Ha. I'm creating the lines. I get to the counter with a stack of complicated questions, then watch the people behind me go nuts with frustration! Bwah-ha-ha-ha!!! One of the best maniacal laughs in the business.

I warned you putting poison down for the ants only makes them stronger.

'I don't know lady, maybe I should be warning the prowler about you!'