Scratch Card Strategist Pillows

'Oh yeh, Trev's still trying to scratch a living.'

"You're going to hate yourself."

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

Funky Facts: Football.

"Okay, I'll renew your contract and raise you five sick days."

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

"Have you been scratching this?"

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

"But it did take hard work to get my A, B, C and D in that order down the card."

Irritable Vowel Syndrome

Otto von Bismarck

Solitaire card shark.

Golf Score Reducer

After they became friends, Rudolph found out just what reindeer games the reindeer played.

'It's good to see Dad keeping his mind active.'

'You should take one -- you could only improve your hand.'

'We need further instruction, your honor. Does a full house beat a straight?'

'There's no interest on your purchase for a year. Then we become VERY interested in your balance after that.'

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'I don't really believe in Santa Claus anymore, but I don't want to disillusion my parents.'

'The cat does like having something to scratch.'

"I won't know if it's a vacation till I see if they accept my miles."

"You know, your poker face is useless if you keep wagging your tail."

"Hardscrabble"

"No!"

Couple with a scratch card - 'Wow! We haven't won a free holiday...'