Scrabble Sheriff Gifts

"And just where did that extra vowel come from?"

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

"You're going to hate yourself."

Billy. The Kid.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'The girls must be feeling better...'

"Reach for the sky, stranger."

"Ok, so you beat me at scrabble!"

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"Ain't isn't a word, and you know it."

Phil uses all seven tiles in Scrabble and ascends to heaven

'You know darn well 'Aaargh' isn't a real word!'

"Well %$@#(&!! is not a banned word in the &%Xsing UK!"

The Lawman

"Say, you were right, Sheriff, this is the best way to keep up with the 'Space-Hopper Gang'."

'I haven't done anything. My ex-wife had those posters printed.'

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

Irritable Vowel Syndrome

"Today we can help herd cattle, go on a nature hike, get a sauna and massage, or go into town and rob the bank."

Sheriff.

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

"Watch yourself Sheriff....Looks like Billy the Kid is back in town!"

"Frank, how many times do I have to tell you, it's a posse, not a search engine."

Investigating Yourself

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'

"Belly rubs later, girl. Belly rubs later."

'Stick em up' Kid plays with gun

Gun Ego

The modern sheriff.