Scout Detective T-Shirts

'He says the scent killer isn't working. He can still smell us.'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

Elusive Shadow.

"Whoever dug up my carrots had better learn to play dead, fast."

The Modern Godot

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

"First buttons, then zippers, now we learn to tie our shoes. Is mom trying to tell us something?"

"And, should you ever lose the key to the city, I hid another one here."

'And what if I did doctor the documents? I'm a doctor.'

'Nice try buddy, but we know the score. You were involved, but you only played a small part. What we want to know is who orchestrated this thing.'

'Remember, all these security cameras are for YOUR protection...otherwise, I'd come over there and smack you.'

Kid to mom: 'How come I ask so many questions?'

The shadow in the little parlour

'There's something about that Indian scout I don't trust.'

F.B.I. An equal opportunity phone tapper without regard to race, sex, or national origin.

'Please be quiet while the attempts to locate your head.'

Jose Manuel Villarejo Scandal

"After I had my eyes lasered, the people down there stopped looking like ants. Plump, furry and delicious little rodents, yes, but not ants!"

"Move along, people, there's nothing to see here."

Camp Games

"So what can you tell us about this escaped master of disguise, John?"

"I think this is the last year he'll believe in Father Christmas, he's asking a lot of questions"

Abrupt end to Red Feather's scouting career.

"The charges of blackmail were dropped. Those pictures of the prosecutor really came in handy."

"Yes, the hunt is on, but we have time to escape! The last message from their spotter on the hill was 'wrong way you idiots!'"

'...But in case God misses something...'

'Please note this perfume should not be used by pregnant women, women who may be pregnant or those taking an Monoaimine Oxidase Inhibitor.'

"Shhh. I think I heard my name."