Scotland Scenerists Gifts

Lockdown had left Nigel desperate for a haircut.

'Och lye the news'

'You must be awfully secure in your masculinity.'

Highland Piper.

Roads with a view.

'You have to admit Darling that there's an awesome view from our eyrie...'

'Jock's a real gentleman as far as we sheep are concerned... He knows how to play the bagpipes, yet doesn't!'

She. 'Isn't it a pretty view?' Susceptible Youth. 'Awfully pretty, by Jove!'

Caber

'The bloke with the violin is on holiday.'

Scot holding a heart.

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

"Says he's one of the MacMartian Clan."

'I'd prefer it if the view was closer.'

Hotel Room

"It's as beautiful as the poster, except, of course, no more cows."

'Another Scotch?'

'What a view! The motivational poster doesn't do it justice.'

Scot country dancing,

'No you can't keep it!'

A Scottish Terrier playing bagpipes wins the dog show.

"A deep-fried bone is taking it too far!"

Highland Pipe Band Drum Major

'Scenic route?'

"I believe you to be over our new drink-drive limits, and require you to blow into this..!"

William Wallace over-applies the talcum powder before battle.

William Wallace.

'What exactly is 'Haggis'?'

"Since I heard there was a monster I can't sleep at night!"

"What's that Scottish word for when its cold, dark and raining?"

Loch Ness.

'This spider's persistence is remarkable - that's web 9.0.'

'You're lucky-you've the knees for it.'

'Go through laddie. Only a true Scotsman disnae wear anything under his Kilt.'