Scoring Gifts

Realists and Idealist Numbers

Golf club with handicap parking.

'How did your bowling go?. . . I didn't realize you eyesight was so bad.'

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

Football

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

'I'll be conducting Mahler 3 as the guests arrive.'

"Okay, you got this! Who introduced the theory of punctuated equilibrium?"

'Our village cricket club' - An exciting finish to a cricket match.

Goal

Wilfried Zaha

Boyfriend scores notches on wall by bed.

Psyche Delia

Musical Pondering.

Woman rating a man's performance with scorecards.

"Seeing as you've been so generous giving goals away lately, you're down to play Santa at the Christmas party!"

Been a while since I've seen such a high scoring game!

"I told you my lucky pennies would work."

"So you used to be in a darts team?"

'Some day, people will wonder what these goal posts were.'

'Any idea how united got on?'

"So, what have you been doing lately?"

'He still can't manage to get into the box.'

Joe shoots his best scores with his graphite shaft!

"Actually, I'm more interested in seeing how we stack up against the competition."

"The boring bit about cricket is waiting for them to find the ball after you've hit a six."

'No wonder they call him the Cat - he gives the defence kittens!'

Sadio Mane

Ice Skating.

Footballer's Wages

I don't get it. You can make a goal from one end of the field to the other, but you can't hit the laundry basket six inches away.