Goal Scorer Gifts

"Seeing as you've been so generous giving goals away lately, you're down to play Santa at the Christmas party!"

Footballers - Zinadine Zidane

'Some day, people will wonder what these goal posts were.'

"Okay, you got this! Who introduced the theory of punctuated equilibrium?"

Roberto Mancini

Hockey player and snowman

Football

N'Golo Kante

Wilfried Zaha

Sadio Mane

Kevin De Bruyne

Jack Grealish

and Fernandez is going for his hat-trick...

Psyche Delia

Jamie Vardy

"I told you my lucky pennies would work."

Footballer's Wages

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

I don't get it. You can make a goal from one end of the field to the other, but you can't hit the laundry basket six inches away.

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Messi's secret.

Goal

Wayne Rooney

'Any idea how united got on?'

Harry Kewell

Mandela scores again!

Sergio Ramos

'He still can't manage to get into the box.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'You just don't know when to give up, do you?'

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'