Score Shunner Pillows

"Let's not spoil it by keeping score."

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

His family thought he'd been wasting his life, but Steve Wiebe was about to prove everyone wrong.

"It's not fair! I only got 100 on my English test!"

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

"O.K., she's sitting fown to write in three...two....one...."

"Okay, quote me. I'm on the record."

Sawdust.

'Nevermore.'

Self Raising Flour

'Our village cricket club' - An exciting finish to a cricket match.

Arcade Game Baseball.

"We should have taken a eweber."

"Come on, Baldo...get up. It's twenty to eleven."

"I want the contract to say that if we win the championship, no one pours champagne on my head."

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

"Hey, have you ever asked yourself why you need to cross the street before hurling yourself into traffic?"

"For goodness sake Timmy, stay out of the shade!"

Footballer faced with a goal with football size holes in it with different scores at different holes

New solar powered sun bed

"The boring bit about cricket is waiting for them to find the ball after you've hit a six."

School. I can't believe I didn't get the job teaching math! Maybe you shouldn't have said you'd give one hundred and ten percent!

'I bet I can tell you the score before the game starts. Nil-nil.'

"Do you file your nails..?

Wordilly Durdillies - Unidentified frying object

-You seem certain he'll win the second race! -Yes, because he's in the FIRST race!

'Do the patches help?'

Oh, no! Another case of the hives!

'Your personals ad said you sold stocks.'

Cookie Does

'It was the M25, Junction 14; your father crossed over to the other side. In more ways than one.'

'It looks like I'm finally going to break 70.. this is my 69th club I've broken.'