Scientific Sniffles Gifts

The Inventor of Scratch and Sniff

Rudolph goes green (compact flourescent nose)

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

"But everyone else gets to market their own personal scent!"

"No son of mine is going into entomology."

"Light at the end of the tunnel!"

"Dad, I swear - I didn't sneeze!"

'He's a sniffer dog-trained to sniff out dope.'

"Gesundheit."

'Wow, Professor Jones, that's an impressive back-of-the-envelope calculation!'

"No offense."

The Inverted Nose: Genetic engineering's answer to the sniffles.

"May I say that's a lovely combination of cyclomethicone, triisostearin, and propylene carbonate you're wearing today, Dr. Thomas!"

Police arresting woman. Man slumped lifeless in background - 'But he was snoring officer!'

Skunk in library reads from the '10 Best Smellers'.

"I had to get the glass in my front window replaced. I've never known anyone with a more powerful sneeze than my dad!"

'Gesundheit.'

'You haven't confirmed the Superstring theory, Blumenkraft - this is a whisker from your beard!'

'Catch anything?'

The sound of mucus.

Manna from heaven puts the olfactory talents of Israel's dogs to the test.'

Human Cull: People who constantly sniff, instead of blowing their nose.

"Dr. Flaubert, I'm from the science police, and I'd like you to answer some questions about your last paper."

'I only sneezed because I have hay fever.'

'Oh, I guarantee your date will smell this one.'

Mosquito restaurants

"Bless you!"

Sleep!

'My keeper cares - I'm captive bred!'

'He's got a dreadful cold - everytime he sneezes he covers the place in soot'.

'I hope his headcold doesn't go to his chest.'

Jobs that will make you really lonely...