Scientific Sniffles Gifts

The Inventor of Scratch and Sniff

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

Rudolph goes green (compact flourescent nose)

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

"But everyone else gets to market their own personal scent!"

"No son of mine is going into entomology."

"Light at the end of the tunnel!"

"Dad, I swear - I didn't sneeze!"

'He's a sniffer dog-trained to sniff out dope.'

"Gesundheit."

The Inverted Nose: Genetic engineering's answer to the sniffles.

"No offense."

'Wow, Professor Jones, that's an impressive back-of-the-envelope calculation!'

"May I say that's a lovely combination of cyclomethicone, triisostearin, and propylene carbonate you're wearing today, Dr. Thomas!"

Skunk in library reads from the '10 Best Smellers'.

Police arresting woman. Man slumped lifeless in background - 'But he was snoring officer!'

K-9 10k

'Gesundheit.'

'You haven't confirmed the Superstring theory, Blumenkraft - this is a whisker from your beard!'

"I had to get the glass in my front window replaced. I've never known anyone with a more powerful sneeze than my dad!"

'Catch anything?'

Amazingly, the Red Cross has genetically engineered mosquitoes that bite people then deposit their blood at a blood bank.

The sound of mucus.

Human Cull: People who constantly sniff, instead of blowing their nose.

Manna from heaven puts the olfactory talents of Israel's dogs to the test.'

Good news! The test results are back, and everything sniffed out just fine.

"Dr. Flaubert, I'm from the science police, and I'd like you to answer some questions about your last paper."

'I only sneezed because I have hay fever.'

'Oh, I guarantee your date will smell this one.'

Mosquito restaurants

"Bless you!"

Sleep!

'He's got a dreadful cold - everytime he sneezes he covers the place in soot'.

'My keeper cares - I'm captive bred!'

Jobs that will make you really lonely...