Scientific Researchers Gifts

"The research proves tall rats are more confident than short rats. At least I think it does. I've never been good at this."

ALLIED CHEMICAL PRODUCTS, INC., 'I'd like to transfer out of Research & Development for awhile.'

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

The Jeopardy of Progress

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"Good boy."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

2021

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"We've made great progress!"

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

UK/US Free Trade Deal

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

Fear/Knowledge

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."