Science Meets Faith Enthusiast Pillows

'I've decided on Michael's DNA idea for now - maybe we'll try Gabriel's DOS system later.'

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

"Always with the String Theory."

The ecumenical dinner party.

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

Apothecary. Tell us what ails you. We'll concoct a chemical mix to dissolve in water which will fix you. Every problem has solution!

10 Commitments? Sure, I guess I could give him those, too.

"What did Jesus order?"

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

"I really don't care what yours says. My weather app says rain for 40 days and 40 nights. I think you should probably go with that, Noah."

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

"No, the Trinity is not the Father, The Son, and the Preacher's wife."

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

Catholic-Protestant Debates. . .

Diagram of a dark matter halo around a saint.

'I believe you're thinking of leaving us, Brother?'

"Let us recall the parable of Jesus turning the other tentacle."

"Not only should science be Bible-based, Creationism, but also math, Roman numerals!"

Attila the Nun.

"You're correct, God doesn't need your tithe, but the church does."

Monkey's Ejected from the Garden of Eden

"Wouldn't it have been easier just to tweet those?"

Honk if you're holy.

"Do me a favor, chief. Next time you carve something in stone have it spell checked first."

Got god? (no you don't...He's got you!)

"Stupid HR says you can only fire them..."

"Hallelujah!"

"Oh, I know He works in mysterious ways, but if I worked that mysteriously I'd get fired."

"Great news! It's a light touch regulatory framework."

"Say AHHH...MEN."