Science Maverick Gifts

Proposed Changes To The Laws Of Gravity

'But I'm the tester, not the testee.'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

Guitar Man.

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

Sign in doctors office - Malpractice Makes Perfect.

Gene Therapy

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

Popera!

'A little more relaxant I think, nurse.'

'How about a little smile for me. You've outlived my prediction!'

'I like to think of the common bile duct as the gateway to the Bahamas.

Health Care Crisis table.

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

'In the doctor's defense, there have been no serious post operative complications.'

First aid departments

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

"While you were under, I had all your friends come in and sign your heart stent."

"We could try reversing the drug's side effects with gene therapy, but we don't want to get into trouble with the SPCA."

Biomedical Conference. To incentivize advances in medical science, more cures and fewer diseases should be named after people.

Santa Metal Claus

'No you idiot! You're supposed to smash your guitar AFTER the show! What are you going to play now?'

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

Hacksaw Violin.

Cleaner with nameplate next to Consultant Surgeon's desk.

'Doctor, the patient would like to know when he can return to being an overbearing, stressed-out pig?'

Celebration in operating theatre.

Psychiatry. Ordinary therapeutic techniques have been unsuccessful, but I have a crazy idea that just might work!

"I'd consider taking out this appendix you'renot using and greatly expanding your kidney area."