Schoolyard Dr. Dolittle Pillows

"Don’t worry, girl. I’m working on our ‘no puppy left behind.’"

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"Recess does things to a man."

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"Let's play make-believe. I'll diagnose you with a life-threatening illness, then cure you with a wonder-drug that turns out to be a placebo."

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

I rule by fear.

"This is my last day. My parents found a more expensive school on the East Side."

I miss recess!

"I'm tardy? Whew! I was afraid I was going to be late for school!"

'Let's play doctor - you be the patient, you be the surgeon, and I'll be the malpractice-attorney.'

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

'I usually don't make house calls but I'm glad to make an exception in your case, Gran'ma.'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

'Billy takes his jungle gym seriously!'

"Well, there's nothing wrong with his lungs anyway."

"Hi Ginny, that's a nice new haircut you've got there. Are you trying to be cuter than me?"

"It's cooties."

"Listen kid, you may have been a big man on playground."

Tipp-kick for brain surgeons.

'These are the happiest days of your life.'

Teacher's Lounge

"Can you believe it? Smiley kissed me! I was totally not expecting it. She's probably gonna blabber it to the whole school! If I'm lucky."

'What do you like about her?'

'If a tree falls in the forest...Do the other trees laugh at it?'

'I'll level with you...You're sick as a dog.'

"I think Wendy likes me... she chose me first for her cooperative learning group!"

"Yes, hello. I'm hoping you've found a cure for my hiccups...but I'm not holding my breath!"

'I don't have a dog, so have to eat homework myself.'

"Who would've thought Ms. Eliot had so little sense of humor?"