Schoolyard Connector Gifts

"Part of the old boy network?"

Networking

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

"Recess does things to a man."

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

I rule by fear.

I miss recess!

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"With Harry all options are on the table, including pointlessly looking for a job that doesn't exist for him anymore."

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'

'I don't know what made Ms. Doan think I was running in the hall.'

"Mom, no more apples for teacher. It looks like bribery."

Kid sheltering from rain inside a vault box.

"I now only take orders online. Shipping is free, especially since you're my neighbor."

Fresh Pears / Ripe Plums / Juicy Gossip

"Actually, I don't know anybody here. I was just passing the house when I heard all the fun."

Pop's store's wanted ad: MOM.

"Mum says can she borrow a cupful of jelly babies?"

"I'd trade, but peanut butter sticks to my tongue stud."

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

"Yes, it's report card time again."

The Original Information Superhighway

'Yeah, girls smell good, but don't let THAT fool you!'

church