Schoolyard Connector Gifts

"Part of the old boy network?"

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

Networking

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

"Recess does things to a man."

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

Will eat your homework for $.

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

I rule by fear.

I miss recess!

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

"With Harry all options are on the table, including pointlessly looking for a job that doesn't exist for him anymore."

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

'I don't know what made Ms. Doan think I was running in the hall.'

"Mom, no more apples for teacher. It looks like bribery."

Kid sheltering from rain inside a vault box.

Littletown High School. And that's where Bubba Parker stomped me

'No sir, we're not boarding a flight. My teacher just needs to check my homework in my my dog Sam here, if it wouldn't be too much trouble.'

"I now only take orders online. Shipping is free, especially since you're my neighbor."

Fresh Pears / Ripe Plums / Juicy Gossip

"Actually, I don't know anybody here. I was just passing the house when I heard all the fun."

Pop's store's wanted ad: MOM.

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

"Mum says can she borrow a cupful of jelly babies?"

"Yes, it's report card time again."

Wow, you're right! Your mom's regurgitated worms are way better than my mom's!

"I'd trade, but peanut butter sticks to my tongue stud."

The Original Information Superhighway

'Yeah, girls smell good, but don't let THAT fool you!'