School Term Planners Gifts

'I know school doesn't start for another week, but any chance I could just drop them off now?'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

A resourceful girl, Cynthia hoped to get credit in both Earth Sciences and Culinary Arts with her ozone layer cake.

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

Don't you hate...

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

Back to school.

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

School Days

Back to School: 'Thanks for reminding me!'

'Medieval Studies is going nowhere without a 5-year strategic plan.'

'I made hundreds of copies to give to all the students in my school. By the way, the color printer is out of ink.'

'And finally, if you're going to commit a felony, do it before ol' dad incurs the high cost of tuition.'

"What a party ... it's filled with back-to-school supplies."

'Nice going, Mom.You ate my entire insect collection. Now I'll fail biology class at school.'

"When do the kids go back to school?" "Oh, I don't know... 8 days, 16 hours and 47 minutes... or so."

"Dad, that's horrible! I'm not trying to roast them: I'm studying them for a school project. . ."

'You must be the new hire. Welcome aboard. Here's our prepackaged curriculum. If time permits, encourage critical thinking.'

'A hidden cost of implementing common core standards in education...'

It's 9pm and now you tell me you need a human for a school science project tomorrow?

"There's definitely enough growing room."

Our dance has to be sustainable. I'll send electronic invites. Eco Club. We can hang white LED Christmas lights. The food will be seasonal! Ice cream? W. Fester School.

'Just a suggestion...have you ever thought of boosting attendance with a bobble-head day?'

"It's frustrating! I try to teach the class the next lesson, but I spend a lot of time trying to catch up those students who've been absent for several days!"

'The board couldn't come up with a 'Plan-A'.'

'I plan to major in political science with a minor in strange bedfellows,'

'I don't know about you, but I keep mixing up 'current events' and 'sex education' these days...'

Pink slime hot dogs.

"Will you be here tonight, Principal Gomez?"

'You mean I have to learn it as well?'

'I thought we retired last May.'

'If you can hear me headmaster, I want to know why you have closed the school.'

'And that's why we make 'em sign permission slips.'