School's Out Enthusiasts Pillows

'I hate to be the one to break it to you, but I don't think they're gonna miss us over the summer. I think they stopped missing us in April.'

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

U of Debt

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

A Preschool of Fish

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

Kindergarten. Today; Simon Says. I don't know who this "Simon Says" is, but he could make a killing in product endorsements!

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

"It's Labor Day! The unofficial last day of summer!"

'At first it's just kindergarten, but then mission creep takes over and you're in college.'

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

"But why can't I bring him to class? He's my therapy toad!"

"I just feel like I'm constantly disappointing parents everytime I appear on report cards."

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

"Finally...school starts next week."

"Fifty years in academia, studying, researching, writing and teaching. And what do they call me? ‘The Human AI’."

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

Abacus.

"If we only use 10% of our brains, how am I supposed to get passing grades?"

The 5 paragraph essay is sooo stupid. Why do we have to learn it? So you can get good SAT scores. That will get you into a good college, and then a good job. So you never have to write another 5-paragraph essay again.

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

"Nice to have you all back at school, tap-tap, there are lessons to learn."

Well, wish me luck. Mom and dad can handle an 'A' and two 'B's, but I've REAL-L-L-L-Y got to spin the 'D' in math!

The History Teacher

Ethics ethics.

"I can always tell when the kids go back to school. Everyone is so happy and relaxed."

"Improve your geography results, Perkins or you're history!"